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From Interview to ConfessionOver and over again, these top performers I interviewed gave the same amazingly boring answers as the mediocre performers. It’s one thing to be bored by research; it’s really disturbing to be bored by your own research. I actually dozed off on one guy who kept using the word “empowered.” He was like the Human Sleeping Pill, a superhero fighting to cure insomnia. Had we continued on this path, we would have produced another tiresome and annoying business book with lame, pat answers. I could have called it Yawn with the Wynn.
Consider, for example, the personal advantages that catapulted these three individuals to the top of their industries:
Remember the TV show Bonanza? It was the story of a 50-year-old dad and his three 48-year-old sons? We didn’t question the plausibility. We suspended any disbelief. Ben Cartwright was such a fair, caring father! And those boys—so loyal! Television is full Lies about Success—and Why We Believe Them.Some lies are easy to believe because it’s just simpler to believe them than to question them. Intelligence, education, best practices, the best products, great timing—these primary elements take the nation’s top businesspeople to the highest levels of success. At least, that’s what we’ve been led to believe. These assets certainly don’t hurt. But the most successful businesspeople get where they are because they have something more: They’ve got a secret advantage, and they’re not afraid to use it. But they’re not willing to share it either. The top 1 percent of successful businesspeople are content to let those myths about success persist. Consciously or unconsciously, actively or passively, they often perpetuate common lies about what it takes to succeed. If they say anything at all, they’ll usually attribute their achievements to their greater intelligence, better education, or superior product or service. Others might not step up and boast, but they’re not chasing us down the street to enlighten us either. They carefully guard the real truth that some secret personal advantage catapulted them to the top. Most of the people I’ve interviewed who are at the top of their game are reluctant to offer up that information, not because they’re concerned about competitors gaining a foothold but because they’re afraid their secret advantage might not sound impressive enough. Why acknowledge that landing a position as writer on a top sitcom was more the result of who you know (the producer!) than brilliant scripts and a string of acclaimed successes? Later in this annoyingly painful journey to embrace my limitations and how I am perceived, I asked someone if he thought I was passiveaggressive. He answered,“No, you are aggressive-aggressive!” While I still feel the sting of that insult (this happened in 2001!), I also learned that it’s easy for me to dominate conversations. I’m like concentrated laundry detergent—a little of me goes a long way!
I met a top-performing sales guy who was really scary looking (think Lurch from The Addams Family). I thought, “Who would buy from this guy?” Then I found out that he sold embalming fluid and other death products. I somehow got the feeling that he really knew what dead people needed! He suddenly looked very credible in his role.
I have a tendency to make light of almost everything and run the risk of offending people with some of the information that I have gathered and passed along. But I have learned that my style, if monitored carefully, gives me an advantage. That’s why you are still here reading. Those who have quit reading are like the Amish. We can say what we want about them because they will never find out! Please note: If you are Amish and you are reading this book, I know that you probably have a 1972 Buick that you keep hidden in town. The bottom line is a truth that I learned the top 1 percent understand: Getting real about how you come across to other people is not a journey everyone wants to make, and it is not for the faint of heart. These secrets to success are not the kind typically divulged on talk shows or in trade journals. They’re just not sexy enough—and in the case of the teen heiress, just a tad disgusting! Even so, the effort of finding and using a personal advantage or distinctive edge produced great results. Although wildly successful, the use of a personal advantage as a get-ahead tactic remains relatively unexploited by average U.S. businesspeople. And yet top performers on the whole are nothing more than average businesspeople who have discovered their secret advantage and leveraged it to reach new heights. Hang on. That’s a rather unconventional thought! Success can come to the average person who’s not a standout in terms of skills or knowledge? The prospect seems unfair given the ideas we’ve been taught. The best man or woman always wins. Right? Wrong!Something as simple as a personal edge can boost you to success. And if you don’t believe it, that’s because you—like so many of us—have been conditioned to believe some lies about success. I admitted that to offset some of my ADD, I had this practice of taping really big notes to the floor when I was presenting. (I know we’re supposed to call it ADHD these days, but the worst thing you can do for people who have a hard time focusing is to indiscriminately add an extra letter to the acronym for their disorder.)
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